I'm Alive! And Back! (For Now...)

"TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut" (twincharged)
06/17/2016 at 14:22 • Filed to: None

I have returned from my long Oppo slumber. Been dealing with university and adult life since I arrived in the UK last year. Time for a little update. Or a big one, however you look at it. It gets personal.

So it’s been nearly 10 months since my last post. In the time I’ve been gone, I’ve settled in fairly well. Made new friends and connections but inevitably a few enemies too. First year of uni has already gone and I’m looking to pass well but it hasn’t been plain sailing. Independence teaches and brings to light so many things you didn’t know before, either about the world or yourself. I only found out a few weeks ago that when I arrived in the UK, I had completely slipped in under the radar of the Registry Office here and so I have literally been given no support by the university since I have been here, even though I am enrolled on their course. So, as everyone has told me, for me to have completed a full year with little to no administrative support has been nothing short of a miracle.

But I haven’t been completely trouble free. Long story cut short - I fell sick sometime in February due to a viral infection which gave me extended fatigue and I couldn’t finish some work on time. Luckily, I have been given an opportunity to resit the assessment but unfortunately I’m still plagued with the infection. Combined with not having seen neither parents or old friends for months because finances are strained and I can’t fly back home, the stress of losing a university referendum and the looming threat of the EU referendum, I have begrudgingly accepted the fact I am suffering from depression. I hate using the word because I know there are others out there who have it far worse than I do, but there have definitely been dark periods in the past few months where I have really felt down and very alone.

Furthermore despite my love of cars and driving (why else would I be here?), because finances are tight, I have yet to buy a car to drive. I haven’t even had the time to get a driving licence. Sure I’ve got the money to buy a running car - in fact I’ve been eyeing up either of these two Volvos below for the past two weeks or so, but.

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Running costs are the killer - especially insurance and tax. I was quoted at least Ł1440 by the nearest reputable insurance company as a young driver to insure a Volvo 440 for one year, and that’s not counting the Ł235 p/a to tax - UK Opponauts will understand and feel my pain. Now conceivably (and UK Opponauts will understand this too), I could apply for a Statutory Off The Road Notice and keep the car off the road until I can afford to drive, but I don’t really have a place to keep it. The only parking space I have will be on-street residential parking next academic year, and that’s not really great for safety. That’s also why I haven’t been posting much here - the depression has rendered me quite withdrawn, and without a car to talk about and live with, has only made it worse. Essentially I haven’t found the inspiration to make any posts with original content, until now.

Fortunately, there is a happier side. I was very lucky to have met someone who is now my boyfriend and has been nothing but complete and utter support in the times I have been down. He’s a few years older and has already graduated so he understands everything that I have gone through and some. And if timing permits, he and I will be travelling around the UK in nothing other than a Dacia Sandero! He and I will be celebrating Pride in York tomorrow.

Also - heads up to Canadian Opponauts based around Toronto - I’m coming to your lovely city for about two weeks just in time for Toronto Pride! My lovely sister has decided I need to explore my sexuality even further and has invited me over. Landing on the 29th!

So that’s all for now. Hopefully things will perk up within the next few months.

DISCUSSION (20)

CB > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
06/17/2016 at 14:30

Sounds like a hell of a year. Good job on pulling through!

And as a former Torontonian (here’s hoping I never return!), there’s a lot of fun stuff to do in the city.

bob and john > CB
06/17/2016 at 14:33

O.O

bob and john > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
06/17/2016 at 14:34

Torontoppo here., i get back from my vaca about then too. lets see if we can meet up

Berang > CB
06/17/2016 at 14:34

Toronto is in the U.K.?

Berang > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
06/17/2016 at 14:38

I had sort of wondered what you were doing. It’s good things are headed the right direction.

Depression certainly makes it tiring to do everyday things, but if you have somebody to help you along it does make a pretty big difference. Don’t forget to take care of yourself and your health or you may have problems down the road that could have been prevented. I didn’t have anybody to make sure I took care of myself when I had the worst of my depression and it has meant lots of dentist bills years later.

CB > Berang
06/17/2016 at 14:40

“Also - heads up to Canadian Opponauts based around Toronto - I’m coming to your lovely city for about two weeks just in time for Toronto Pride!”

Berang > CB
06/17/2016 at 14:43

Canada is pretty wacky

Leon711 > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
06/17/2016 at 15:00

Hey man! It’s good to hear from you! It sucks that you’ve been ill and had little support but I’m glad you have someone to help you out! If you and your boyfriend find yourself down near Brighton, let me know and maybe we could get together for a drink.

With regards to insurance, have you tried putting your boyfriend down as a named driver?

Steve in Manhattan > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
06/17/2016 at 15:08

I took a business trip to Toronto once. The taxi drivers talk to you. And they’re polite! What’s wrong with you Canadians?

And depression? Been there, still there. And I had somewhat bad agoraphobia for a while - and a panic attack in the Guggenheim! You’ve never seen a middle-aged guy move that fast.

See someone with a prescription pad. It took a couple months, but we found the combination that keeps me from being unable to function. And talk to that person as well. I was once a week for a long time, then once a month, now I go in twice a year. I’m much better.

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > CB
06/19/2016 at 12:51

Yeah, I’m pretty sure my sister will show me everything x)

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > Berang
06/19/2016 at 12:51

Dentist bills?

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > Steve in Manhattan
06/19/2016 at 12:52

Yes I have, thankfully the university does cater for those with poor mental health and does offer a support network although it could be better.

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > bob and john
06/19/2016 at 12:55

Sounds good!

Steve in Manhattan > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
06/19/2016 at 12:58

Sometimes 80 percent efficiency is enough to get you there. Glad you’re getting there.

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > Leon711
06/19/2016 at 13:02

That might happen later in the year, he’s moving down to London for work in September. And that’s the problem, he's moving down South soon. How does the named driver thing work? Would he have to pay for the insurance as well?

Leon711 > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
06/19/2016 at 13:23

You’d still pay it all (unless he wants to pay some towards it) but it may be cheaper to have a “more experienced” driver as a named driver. Upsides are that it could be cheaper and he can drive your car, downside is that it might not be cheaper, but in that case you don’t add him.

I added my sister for a couple of years, she never drove my car but it was a useful percentage cheaper. Had you considered telematics monitoring? The insurance company install a GPS tracker to the car and monitor your driving and adjust costs accordingly. It’s not something I’d like to have but it’s an option if you have nothing to hide and don’t mind them knowing where you are.

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > Leon711
06/19/2016 at 14:13

Yes, I have considered the telematics option when it comes to insuring. I did talk to him about it and I’ll see how it goes, but while he has been driving for a while now he did have one accident in the past so I’ll see how it affects the premium.

Leon711 > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
06/19/2016 at 15:01

It’s worth getting a quote, it doesn’t cost anything.

Aside from what’s mentioned above about your health and struggles at Uni, how are you finding life in the UK compared to Hong Kong?

Berang > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
06/19/2016 at 16:28

Because I wasn’t brushing my teeth. Because I wasn’t thinking about being alive ten years down the road.

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > Leon711
06/20/2016 at 14:30

Much prefer the weather here - the climate is way milder and the pollution is so much less than HK. Been enjoying the good weather up here today, spent the day with my boyfriend walking around town. I do have to stomach the higher bus and taxi fares though, which are way more than what I’m used to in HK. I do also miss Chinese food, but that’s nothing I can’t manage in the kitchen on my own. Haven’t had a good roast lunch in a while anyway :P